The Naked & Famous (In Rolling Waves)
Despite all of the bumps in the road, I can’t help but feel blessed. Yes, I hate that I get extremely exhausted after chemotherapy, and I have become a housewife who on occasion will venture out into the world. I can’t help but see all of the fabulous things people post on their sites, their amazing grown up jobs, their newest accomplishment, and so on. For a faint second a speck of envy lingers in my heart, but just as quickly as it was sparked, it gets crushed by a sense of calm in knowing that I have what many people may not, true relationships which contain real love. It is a love that allows me to continue fighting in all my sickness and the nonsense that encompasses this world.
Growing up in an environment where love, emotions and feelings are not fostered, I had a no real idea of how to express myself, but through experiences, depression, and ruined relationships, I’ve come pretty far. I have learned the importance of acceptance, compromise, and truly being able to express how I feel in all forms of communication. When it comes to love, whether it’s your special someone, your parents, or a best friend, all of those things are important.
As far as a special someone being concerned, I truly believe with my entire being that I lucked out. I was blessed enough to meet, who I believe is my soul mate. That person who I have known and loved in a past life, and was fortunate enough to come across in this lifetime.
From the start of our relationship, I was very frank and communicated exactly what I wanted, what I was going through, and let him know that if he saw it as too much baggage, he could leave, no hassle, no argument. I believed at that time that I emotionally, financially and whatnot was able to be independent, and didn’t need to get involved unless it was worth it. I suppose I had too much pride at the time to let someone in.
Yet here I am, two years, countless emotional episodes (mainly on my part), three brain surgeries, ongoing cancer treatments, a handful of real arguments later, and we’ve made it. From the get go, we promised that we would never go to sleep mad at one another, we always talked things through, never held grudges, never screamed at the other, accepted the flaws, and adjusted to the changes. We’re getting married in December, and each day I learn more and more about him, our relationship, and most importantly myself.
Whether it’s building a relationship with your mom, friend or significant other, know that “love is a journey, not a destination”.